Making Choices

I have successfully been making choices that have improved my life. By changing my focus, by viewing life from a place of only looking for the beauty in all I see, I have changed my life. I had to ask myself while on this non judging mission, what does judging do for my life, how does it serve me? I believe we as humans only do and continue to do things that work for us, that serve us in some way. So this was a good question for me to help myself in altering my ways in regards to judging. I believe as I have stated in the past that judging comes from our conditioned minds, meaning we are taught the behavior. Fear,  that is right, fear is a good reason to judge. Well not a good reason, I don't believe there is any good reason, but it is the reason we become conditioned to judge. As children we are taught that there is good and bad and to fear the bad. Now depending on where and  with whom you grew up this will vary a lot. Just think about it. Once I realized this and started questioning my fear of anything different then myself, or different from what I was taught to believe was right I started finding it much easier to see the beauty in all things. I still find that I do not like some peoples behaviors, but that is different then judging them for who they are. I find it easy to simply remove myself from the situation, look for the beauty and live on. Things are good ~ Jacque

An Observation

I was recently in Santa Cruz California, I love Santa Cruz, I always have. I love the beach, the free spirited people, the old homes, the business, the weather, the surfers! On my recent visit I had a few minutes sitting in the car in a very congested area... people were walking every which way, they were the locals, the sun was shining and they were out and about. Santa Cruz is known for its good people watching, the cities logo is "keep Santa Cruz weird" and I have always loved that! While I sat there taking in all the different activity happening just outside my car I was practicing my new way of being non-judgemental, just accept things as they are, don't label them good or bad, just accept. So as I succeeded at just observing without judgement I realized something that I found amusing, all these people, these individuals, were trying so hard to look different and often to the extreme, that they all seemed to look the same. They were all the same in their differentness Ha! The human struggle to be special yet fit in and be accepted by others has followed man generation after generation. I wonder is it this need that has created judgement?

‎"Choose to align yourself with people who are like-minded in their search for simplified inspiration. Give those who find fault or who are confrontational a silent blessing and remove yourself from their energy as quickly as possible. Your life is simplified enormously when you don’t have to defend yourself to anyone, and when you receive support rather than criticism." - Dr. Wayne Dyer

I have recently taken an inventory sort of speak of the things in my life that I have become aware of that I struggle with in my desire to no longer judge. The above quote from Dr. Dyer comes to mind as a solution or at least a guide to assist in finding myself faced with less situations in which I automatically judge. I choose to align myself with people who are like-minded... wow what an idea, I especially like that "I choose". An alternative to judging = give those who are confrontational or behave in ways I find unpleasant a silent blessing and remove myself from that energy, again I get to choose. I realize Dr. Dyer's quote was not necessarily about helping with judging my I couldn't help but find this to be helpful when I became aware of the situations in which I was judging. I think the key here is the awareness that "I get to choose". So if I am choosing for my life why would there be any reason to judge? If the people, things, behaviors and situations in my life are my choice then, I would simply be judging my choices!

So what are my choices? This has been written about in different ways over the past few years by some wonderful authors including my favorite, Dr Dyer. I have come to know that my life is my thoughts... what my thoughts are about something is what it is for "my life". This is the number one reason why I no longer want to judge with my autopilot conditioned mind, I want to make sure that my thoughts are creating the life I want.

Why and When do I Judge?

I haven't posted here in a while because I have not been struck with any strong observations of myself judging. Today I thought, well, that is an even better thing to write about! Just like any habit, anything we do from the conditioned mind can be changed. Awareness seems to be the key to making change. Once I was aware that I was judging things in my world, labeling them and backed with emotion, I started asking myself why. When you have the why, you can begin to start changing the what. I have received some feedback from readers about my subject choice and about how "they" don't judge, "live and let live" one says, another "I like everyone, doesn't matter what they are". I am not writing about the common known judging such as by the color of an other's skin, or the way they look, or whether we agree or disagree with other's choices and beliefs. I am talking about the labeling of "good" or "bad" the labeling that is loaded with emotion, the labeling that interferes with us seeing the world clearly and with out judgement. We can learn by asking ourselves when and why do I judge? James, my husband and I just had a conversation about this, using a subject that we have observed. When individuals are receiving money, hand outs, not earned help just because it is available, from our tax dollars we work hard to pay we judge their behaviors. They have cable t.v., cigarettes, can pay for tattoos, alcohol, etc... but can't feed or clothe or house themselves we become emotionally charged to judge those behaviors. How can we not judge when an other's choices affect our lives directly? I'll be back as soon as I find the answer, wait that might be never, so I'll be back when I have more insight!

Beauty is Love ~ Love is Beauty

When we find ourselves habitually doing something the easiest way to change is to replace the action with a new one. I have been learning to see beauty in everything. In the beginning I struggled with the idea, because my educated mind tells me there are definitely things in this world that are not beautiful. When I heard beauty is love and love is beauty it changed everything for me, it changed the way my thoughts are formed, it changed the way I look at things and yes the things I look at have begun to change. When we see things with love and love only we see them much differently, the labels of the conditioned mind begin to melt and fade away. This is a wonderful way to live my life, I am noticing how this is not only helping me with my journey to be non-judge mental but I am now living in a much more beautiful world and who wouldn't aspire to that ~ may everything you encounter be of love and beauty ~ Jacque

Somedays I Do Better Then Others

The title of this post tells it all, this non judging can be very difficult for me. There are moments and situations in our lives that are emotionally charged and these times seem to be when I find it the most difficult. I live in a quiet cute little older neighborhood, I don't know my neighbors well, I like my neighbors, overall everyone is considerate to others and we seem to have a live and let live neighborhood .... accept for "The House".

"The House" happens to be right across the street from my house. It has been empty for about 2 years now, actually a good thing, we picked up any trash, watered the plants for a while and enjoyed the extra parking when needed. The house foreclosed a few years ago after putting the neighborhood through a few years of unpleasant conditions. During that time I became conditioned to judge. Behaviors I did not like were showing up right at my door step, out my front window and ear shot away. I didn't want to see it, hear it or even know it, but there it was and yes I judged!

So now the house after several months of being on the market is going to auction, the bank has been having "open house" this weekend. The weather has been just beautiful here and being outdoors is a must. I found myself, curious as well as concerned about those possible future neighbors showing up to view the house... all I had to go on was first impression based on physical appearance and behaviors... judging! Darn, it is hard not to judge when people are doing behaviors that I consider rude... I want to live and let live... but not next to that. Ha! I caught myself frustrated with my concerns about the next possible outcome associated with "the house" and decided to change my thoughts. I have learned a great deal about the power of attraction and decided to use my knowledge in regards to this situation. I will have thoughts about what I want to happen at the house rather then what I don't want. I started to visual some wonderful, kind and considerate neighbors moving in, fixing the house up and making it a nice home for themselves. I stopped seeing and judging the negative behaviors I had witness before. It is yet to be seen who moves in "the house", in the mean time I am choosing to feel good about it, have desirable thoughts and I know that judging isn't going to make it what I want, it just makes me someone who judges.

Wake Up!

This life should not be an auto-pilot experience, daily routines of this and that, habitual thinking that lacks awareness, thoughts without even the slightest thought of "where did that thought come from?". The first step to change is awareness. I don't recall the actual day or moment or even inspiration that triggered my desire to start being more aware of my self and my thoughts. I have often in my life been accused of being overly analytical, but that was just a label put on me by some others need to judge, yes I am curious and yes I like to think beyond the surface of the obvious. My awareness of how I was on auto-pilot when it came to labeling, judging everything around me... "that's good, that's bad, that's pretty, that's not, etc. etc." came to me around two years ago and that was when I started paying attention to not only myself but noticing as a whole how we as a human race live as habitual labelers. How would life change if labels were not used, and especially how would my life change? I practice daily turning off the auto-pilot, being fully present and aware of my thoughts and the behaviors that they generate... this is showing to be a great way to live my life. "Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change." Dr. Wayne Dyer